


Smash Ultimate but it's kinda stupid/gay

by Typingtodeath



Category: Super Mario Bros. (Video Games), Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Family Dynamics, I PREDICTED BYLETH IN SMASH, M/M, Mario is Sonics dad cause his actual dad died, Mom Bayonetta, Out of Character, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, World of Light (Super Smash Brothers), bayonetta palutena akira Pit dark pit and Kirby are a bigger family, crackfic, he raises (orange) inkling and ness, headcanon hell, luigi is “dating” bowser, mlm, samus peach Zelda Lucas and megaman are a family, snake is also a dad, video games - Freeform, wlw, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-07-27 04:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20039707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Typingtodeath/pseuds/Typingtodeath
Summary: Everyone is here! Except for the last six dlc characters. Let's hope it's not Dante!!!Welcome to ultimate, where everyone pushed their traumas down, that they developed in World of light and act like a bunch of idiots.





	1. Zelda kinda cute tho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pit is (or was) Hella hyped for the new smash mansion, that to no one's surprise lasted only 2 weeks.  
But in order to make proper adjustments, the smashers are gonna need to work, and work hard.  
Also put sucks at listening.

"Welcome to the newly improved, Smash Mansions!" boom a voice that could only be recognized as master hand's, or crazy’s. "I hope you will all enjoy your welcome. But may I remind you all-"

  
"y'all"

  
".... May I remind you all to respect your peers and surroundings, we don't want anything bad happening to the mansion again," the audience all turned their gaze to a young boy man with a triangular nose and red shirt, sending him death glares." with that said, enjoy the party!"

A blue-eyed angel trotted over to a gorgeous green haired mistress. He fluttered his wings when he arrived at his destination to signal for her attention. The total babe look down and gave the angel, pit, a soft smile before speaking to him.

"I see you very excited, pit."

  
"of course I am, lady mom!"

  
"Ah! don't call me that in front of people!" the super hot and pretty goddess that stole my heart, palutena, took a look at the vast crowd around the two smashers. "71 fighters! I should make a guidance lesson to give you advantages against your competitors." the goddess giggled and faced pit once more.

"do us a favor and check how pittoo is."

  
"aigh aigh, my divinity!" pit fluttered to his new destination to go dark pit his brother.

  
"PITTOO!" called a voice in a crowded distance. D

pit sighed in pain. When his clone. Arrived he furrowed his brow.  
"what do you want pit stain?" grumbled the doppelganger.

  
"arent you excited!" chirped pit-pat.

"oh yeah, totally I live being set up on matches to the death and get rated mid-tier."

Pit frowned at the unwanted response.  
"stop acting like a baby and do something useful with your life, shit stain."

  
"your just mad cause your an echo character!"

  
"You didn't even know what that literally meant until I told you!"

  
Pit left the conversation not wanting to ruin his good day. With all the new smashers, a pit was going to hang out with bigger friend groups. He no longer needed to get groceries or do laundry for palutena, the angel was sent free till ultimate it became less popular. He was so excited for another start, he couldn't get rid of the goofy smile he had imprinted on his face.

At least that could be said two weeks ago.

Just a few hours back while everyone was finalizing they're dorm rooms, villager had a brilliant idea. Instead of bombing the top of the mansion like he did in smash four, he would blow up the bottom and take down the whole mansion, so he did.

  
As water Pokemon extinguish the burning mansion, master hand cried his non existent tears.

  
"I thought that*sniff* if we added Isabelle, she couldve prevented this"

"me too" shouted crazy hand.

"me too.... " whimpered Isabelle.

A small groups of smashers surrounded poor Isabelle to comfort her.

"To be fair, no one can stop him from going feral." Added the bounty hunter, samus.

"uuuuh so like....should I start plan B?"asked crazy hand.

  
Master hand immediately stop crying and looked at his glove brother. "do you mean you made plan B, even though I told you specifically not too... "

"uuhh....yuh. "

  
There was a brief silence before master hand began sobbing tears of joy. He clasped his palm over crazy's "OH MY GODS THANK YOU!!!YOUR STUPID BEACH PLAN BETTER WORK!"  
As the hands discussed the situation. megaman went to share the news he just heard.

  
"hey pit! Did you hear that!"

"I mean yeah but that doesn’t really fix a mansion-"

"Zelda in a swimsuit!"

  
Pit raised his head and paused for a moment, to picture the said sentence. His cheeks ran red and eyes went wide. If there was anything pit loved more then eating and slaving his days away to palutena, it was Zelda. Megaman knew this so when pit was feeling down he would bring up a fantasies of Zelda to cheer the angel up. He never understood what made pit so happy about Zelda drinking tea with him, maybe it cause he's a robot, or cause he's gay, who knows.

"haha, so about Plan Beach... "crazy hand began to murmur "we can't really afford repairs to the mansion if we beach it up... "

Master hand stared at his faceless brother with his faceless face He visually thought for a moment before adding on to his brother’s comment. "it's OK I have a plan."

Kinda cryptic.

After all, the flames were gone, and the building was reduced to debris, master hand held a short announcement in front of the rubble right after.  
"some oh you may have already heard the news-"

  
"cause y'all are a bunch-o-bitches"

  
".....but as a second plan, we will be temporarily moving to a beach resort." master hand was interrupted by cheers of beach fans. "BUT, in order to repair the mansion, you guys are going to need work harder in your day jobs."

  
Suddenly there was an uproar of lazy groans.  
"being a nun doesn’t pay real good!" hissed Bayonetta.

"same with plumbing!" shouted Mario.

"I may be extremely rich but there's no way in spending it on rent!" huffed marth.

"I barely got here! and spent all my money on those worms on string things! also, my mum's job doesn't pay well" announced joker, a follower with a 'You're not allowed to call me mummy yet!'

  
"JESUS FUCK LET THE DUDE FINISH!" twitched crazy hand.

Master hand took a small breath before continuing.  
".... Then get a second job or else ill tell daddy Sakurai" There was an angered silence. "it's not like you have to work all the time! You’ll still get some breaks." master hand waited for a positive response but received nothing." you still smash and get cash by winning tournaments so..... "  
The fighters obviously still didn't want to Mature up and do things like normal people do.

Crazy interrupted. "well hold a beach bod contest and whoever wins doesn't need to pay rent at all."

Of course, Everyone being cocky asshats got hella confident that they would win, and agreed with the Beach plan.

* * *

And that's how the evening ended, with a ton of flexing and clothes being torn off, reveal some weird nipples. Pit met up with palutena and dark pit later to discuss what just happen.

  
"the fuck, I just got flashed by captain falcon."

"no one cares pittoo, I have really important news to share. " commented the goddess.  
Pit and dark pit sat in an incomplete circle around palutena. She took a delicate breath and spoke motherly to the pits. "I'm aware your not a fan of my girlfriend...." silence "ok well you see, for our beach house we planed of bringing her, her sons-"

"wait, Bayonetta has a son?!"

"well talk about it later, I just wanna know if it's fine?" palutena sweat as she asks the question.

"I'm OK with her, as long as she does hurt Pichu " dark put then revealed and small Pichu with a spiked ear hiding in his scarf.  
Palutena smile at the response. She then looks at pit, who seems to be in his own world

  
"pit?"

"....."

Piiiittt?"

"....."

"PIT?!"

"WHA-"

the goddess swiped her hand across pit's head before continuing "welp Bayonetta is staying over until the mansion is rebuilt, it's official!"

"WAIT WHAT" The brunette was ignored by both Dark Pit and palutena. He was left ultimately confused as he watched his family go to bed. And with their disappearance, pit continue to daydream of the sunny beach time fun, zelda and friends, and how much icecream he was goin to eat.

alot of icecream.


	2. Haha what if my mom put her minecraft bed next to your mom's minecraft bed?lmao JK....unless-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week of planning, smash bros fighters are moving to peach beach!  
It's a long gross nasty bus ride for the few, but is kinda worth it in the end.  
Once they there, pit talks to joker about parents and stuff, probably important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Sakurai!!! Thanks for developing some of the greatest games ever, go take a break! Please....

Our protagonist was having a wonderful dream, a dream about palutena making pit Yoshi shaped pancakes and Simon was his dad! Which was kinda weird but the angel shrugged it off. the dream was interrupted, but instead of dark pit kicking pit off his one bed, it was a stench that woke the angel. pit opened his mauve colored eyes (I know It was blue last time, I just like purple better) to reveal Pichu vomiting on his chest with dark pit looking mildly concerned.

  
Pit screamed.

"Shut up dude I think Pichu's sick" groaned the tan angel.

"YOU THINK?! THERE IS LITERAL RALPH ON MY CLOTHES!"

Dark pit chuckled and covered his mouth before raising his voice. "IF PICHU IS SICK I WON'T LEAVE THE TEMPLE!"

Pit realized what was going on. dark pit was avoiding going to the beach! Why? And where did the vomit come from if Pichu isn't sick?! Palutena came running into the pits headquarters as fast as she could.

  
"You're not staying anywhere," palutena glared at her son and his failed attempt to stay home before forcing medicine down Pichu's throat. "we have less than a week before we move pittoo! You can't keep doing this"

"look at the evidence Hag! The vomit is real this time, and it looks bad"

Pit interrupted "THIS ISNT PICHU'S VOMIT!"

"Obviously" yelled palutena and dark pit in sync. Dark pit stormed out of the room and growled at his "mom" before exiting the room. The goddess pit worshiped so much looked upset, she never gave much of a deal about dark pit and his edge, maybe it was the whole girlfriend thing.

"Hey mom, can I call toon or Megaman"

Palutena looked at her guard questionably. "are they up at this time?" It was 4:30, dangit.

* * *

"K WE DOIN THIS I NAME ORDER, Bayonetta, And Dedede, and those are the only 2 I can remember in order so y'all do the rest" crazy hand floated away.

The fighters began to fill up a bus that could probably only fit half of them, @ Ridley taking up to much space. Of course, somehow they managed to all fit, three people on every one person seat. pit was lucky and only had to sit next to MegaMan. H

leaned to his robot friend. "are you joining the beach body competition?"

"no, I'm too chubby"

"but chubby's cute" 

Megaman smiled at pit. One of those rare smiles that not even Simon received, but to be fair all Megaman smiles are rare. "Plus my moms and sister are joining, so we have an advantage." the blue bomber added.

Pit stared dumbfounded for a bit. "did peach and Samus like, adopt roll or-"

"Oh, no no no... Um, my moms decided to also adopt new Zelda, though I do feel uncomfortable calling her my sister-“

Pit shot up "Zelda's joining-"

Before pit finished his sentence Megaman pointed to peach complaining to master hand, to change the subject.

"I am a princess-SOON TO BE QUEEN, and you're making me ride a filthy bus with Wario?!" fumed toadstool.

Master hand sighed. "if you want a 1st class ride to your own beach, Then get off."

Peach huffed before making a few texts then called for her family. "Sammy, Lucas, MegaMan, and zelly! We have better places to be!"

"nice!" called out peach's fiance, Samus. M

wrapped his arms around the pit for a second, which took the angel by surprise, before waving goodbye with his signature poker face. 

When pit waved back he felt a silky skirt rub against his hand. "sorry” called Zelda sticking her hands in the direction of pits. This made the angel's heart melt. She had manners, WOW!

The blonde family left, along with Pikachu, and hopped onto an uber (am I allowed to say that?) later pit was reseated with the links. It sucked cause they slept the whole time and pits anxiety went up the more he couldn't talk to people. 

After 6 days and 2 stops to pee and get McNuggets, the smashers finally arrived at the beach. It was clear in view that some of the rental houses were better than others, like peach's Vs. snakes. but one stood out to pit, it was Mr game and watch. It was 2D! That has nothing to do with the story I just wanted to add more words.

Surprisingly palutena's beach house looks almost exactly like her temple. Much smaller though, and less in ruins. It was obvious the goddess paid extra for the beach house.

* * *

"Listen, guys, I'm going to set up a bit, go get familiar with your surroundings." Smiled the goddess.

"no, I'll help" interjected Dark pit.

The goddess let the comment pass then spoke directly to pit "go play with your friends, I'll call you over when dinners ready." she leaned and whispered to her number 1 guard’s ear " It’s going to be Chinese food.”

the 13-year-old dismissed himself with a smile and went hunting for his friends.

"and then I said, PK PEE YOUR PANTS!!: and then he totally did cause he thought I was using psi." Lucas giggled.

"dude image if you told him to PK-"

"hey, guys!" put interrupted. The alien boys waved to pit.

"Wheres megabro" ask ness. "he's like, always near you?"

"oh haha, I was literally going to ask you two the same question! Cause you know, luck-"

A tall 5'7ish teen interrupted the conversation by placing his hand on pits shoulder. He seems very very familiar as if he was mentioned last chapter or something. Pitty pat Polly wack investigated the teen’s face before having his thought interrupted. "Hey kid"

the voice as so very familiar pit knew who it was! "ROY!"

"...Wha-"

"A-announcer?"

".....I'm joker"

"DLC DUDE!!!" 

There was a pause. Then pit realized his friends totally ditched him. Jerks. "let's go for a walk." joker pushed up his dummy thicc glasses and pointed to the shore.

The two boys walked barefoot by the beach, waves crashing on both their pair of legs. Joker had his pants cuffed and his school jacket tied on his waist. Pit only took off his shoes_ 'the waves are doing my laundry, FOR FREE!_'.

"your pit"

"I guess" 

Joker stopped and starred at the stupid angel." nice wings can you-"

"sometimes, It was a birth defect...."

Joker decided it would be appropriate to stop asking questions. "Er, you know me as a joker on the battlefield but you should call me Akira." pit stared up at The phantom thief. "I know you were not listening to your mom very well but, um, I'm going to being staying over with my mum and Kirby." Akira expected any type of outburst from the pit. But pit replied with, 'wait why Kirby'

Joker explained that Bayonetta was his mother. And Kirby was adopted by both the witch and goddess and united their families. The angel feared Bayonetta because duh, witch. So with some small talk, the boys continued to talk about the future. 

After like 2 hours of, '_wait if you were a witch do that mean....._' the boys came home to see cold Chinese food and two angry moms. Both parents said nothing. They ate dinner and all parted ways, Pit was really weirded out knowing there were four more people in the house. But pit went to bed anyways. And dreamt of Pikmin port on Nintendo switch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop writing when u have important things to do the very day. (*ﾟｰﾟ)v Also school is coming up for me soon so like.....misery.  
Also I keep on wanting to write instead of draw, that's bad BTW
> 
> Again this is my first fanfic, So critism would help


	3. Fall fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!if I add enough !!! It will seem like a good chapter!!!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been so long since our favorite family trope actually bonded. So Palutena does her darlings a favor and takes them to a local fair. Hopefully everyone is as excited as she it.....hopefully.

Pit shot up from his cozy bed. he was having a nightmare , but he always has nightmares so he tried to remained as calm as he could. He shook the bitter thoughts that lingered his soul and checked his clock. 7:36. He slept in.

Our angel rushed to his closet and geared up almost as fast as sonic! Although there weren’t any problems for him to attend to he always had to be on his A-game, to protect his goddess of course. After pit lazily brushes his teeth he ditched his headquarters and ran down several flights of stairs. The faster he went the more panicked he got. But why, no one knows.

  
“You good buddy” joker saw pit panting when he finally reached the end of the staircase,

“I-I’m fu-fu-FINE!” Pit gulped down the lump in his throat and faced his step brother. Much to the angelic being's surprise, the rest of his family also had their attention toward pit.

“Jesus, why are you so freaked pit stain?” Dark pit removed pichu from the table then were set up at and placed him on his shoulder.

“I*_huff_* I was late...I think.”

Before anyone could attack pit Bayonetta quick passes a plate of eggs and bacon into his hands. “Late for breakfast!” The umbra witch seems a bit too excited. it filled the room with curiosity, or anxiety.

Pit began to ponder what made her so happy when he realized something.  
“We’re all together! Are we going to hang out!? Oh by palutena's name-“

“WOAH! Calmed down.” Dark pit shot his glare to the witch. “ just because we all a free today doesn’t mean we need to hang out.” After pit left a sorrow sigh dark pit continued. “We don’t have the time or money and honestly I just want to stay home and watch tv.”

“Oh, my silly pittoonia!” The umbra witch slithered to the kitchen. “We have the entire day ahead of us, and the patrons at church were making some humble donations for the last few weeks,” She pulled up a seat for pit and began to pour him some apple juice. “There’s nothing much to watch except other fighters dueling. I say we should all go out together before the weather gets too cold.”  
There was a chorus of sighs that came from everyone except pit and Kirby, who were cheering.

“Hn-oh ceraza must we? I rather not I’ve got a-bad head ache.” Whines the goddess.

“Yeah so, master hand wanted me to like help the new fighters understand why we are here and not at the mansion. It’ll take all day for some reason, y’know.” Akira lied.

Dark pit just hissed as a reply.

“Alright then, let’s let Kirby decide”

  
Everyone shot desperate gazes as kirby.

“Poyo!”

“Augh!” the entire audience groaned.

  
Bayonetta then lifted all the dishes and tossed them into the sink, including pit’s unfinished breakfast. "There's no time to loose, dress warmly and be on you best behavior."

* * *

The crispy wind blew into the faces of the family, it's been five months since they had a proper conversation and so far the new one isn't going as well. Pit was dressed warmly as he was told to do so. He wore a long sleeved shirt with a yellow jacket he borrowed from Simon. And the weather may have been cold but it doesn't stop pit from wearing shorts. 

Joker actually looked decent compared to pit, he had a burgundy turtleneck with a black scarf an tan coat layering above it. He wore skinny jeans as well cause he's a thot.

Dark pit just wore a black hood and a large scarf, to carry pichu. He also had shorts on because pits think alike.

And because Palutena is a goddess and doesn't feel cold, she wore a white turtleneck with a boob window. **Hndgd**. She also had skinny jeans and because goddesses can't look bland, she added some really long boots that reached her knees.

Kirby had a scarf.

And lastly Bayonetta had blue leggings with ankle high heels. She wore an opened coat with a black long sleeved v-neck shirt under. And too to top it off she had rosemary in her hair. I didn't need to write all that but my fics seem short so oof. 

The squad™ took a 30 minute bus ride to their destination and when they arrived there was silence.

"Fall fair," Akira looked over to his mom "you took us to a fair."

"Don't sound so gloomy." Replied the witch. No one else could make any comments after that because Bayonetta already lead the family to the entrance.

Pit sniffed the air. "Is that pumpk-No-pecan pie!" He smiled and faced his family who weren't as excited about the food as he was. "Aw, come on guys, it's pie!"

"No one wants your nut pie, pit" dark pit laughed at his own comment.

There was still tension between the family, why was this so hard, even Bayonetta seemed concerned. Then Akira's face lit up. "Hey guys, how About we split up. So that we can find more things to do an decide later what we can all do." Bayonetta was about to argue but it sounded like a genuinely good plan. So they went with that. Bayo and Palutena were together, the pits were a duo as well, and joker hung out with kirb.

Pit frowned at his clone, he was carrying so much candy and gifts in his hand, he was having a great time. But dark pit was just on his phone and taking pictures of pichu with pumpkins and looking at emo memes.

"Hey pittoo! You should try winning pichu a skeleton!" Suggested the light Angel.

But dark pit just snarled and rubbed pichu. "Give it a rest armpit. I don't want to be here so have your own fun."

"Fine then! I'll just leave with all my loot." Pit only managed to get a few steps before he sat down with dark pit on a bench. "Why aren't you having fun?" Just as dark pit was going to make an angsty sigh he was interrupted by a mysterious voice.

"That's new, dark pit isn't having fun." Zelda moved a few strands of hair and sat next to the twins, along with her were MegaMan and Lucas. Pits face flushed immediately when he saw Zelda wearing a Halloween sweater, short skirt, and very long socks. 

He turned to MegaMan immediately and began to vibrate in excitement. "HI MEGAMAN!"

"Ok so I don't exist" replied Zelda. "Anyways it's nice to see you here!" Dark pit finally released his angsty sigh then shoved his face down his scarf.

"Oh pit, you must be sick from eating all these sweets." megaman, who was dressed in his signiture beanie, blue jacket, and large boots, groomed pits hair for comfort.

"Yeah exactly!" Pit exclaimed in a calmer tone. After a while of MegaMan brushing pits hair with his hand pit calmed enough to speak. "Why are you guys here?"

"Oh, I keep forgetting your unemployed,"

_ ouch _

"everyone got a day off today, villager went feral again."

"Oh" that made more sense now.

"I'd expect you to be with Palutena and stuff." Commented Zelda.

"Oh well we were hanging out but there was some troubles with deciding what to do." 

Lucas swooped from admiring pichu to talking to pit. "Pit! There's this Ferris wheel you got to ride!"

"Oh yeah that's one of my favs!" Zelda giggled.

Pit looked to MegaMan to see his opinion.

"Yeah, definitely! The view is great" he brushed some of pit's hair off his eyes. 

The angel rubbed his flushed cheeks then faced dark pit "alright we will if pittoo is up for it then we'll check it out!"

Dark pit frowned at the nickname but then focused on pichu. "Wanna ride the wheel?"

"P...Pichu!"

"YAY!"

Pit ran up to Palutena and rubbed his cheeks on her clothes like it would take away the red. "Welp, we couldn't find anything we could all do." Frowned the witch.

Joker sighed. "Kirby ate half of the prizes for most games. 

Dark pit glanced at pit and shoved him as a notice for him to speak. "Well, so-um there's a Ferris wheel and I think we should all ride it together." Every one was quite.

"That's it?" Akira looked upset. "Shut up emo, the sun is setting it's going to be beautiful." Snarled dark pit. Every one fell silent again.

"Worth a shot." 

Thew was no longer crispy, it felt damp and the scent of dead leaves stuck onto everyone's clothes. up on the Ferris wheel, it felt like you could taste the clouds that loomed over. The moms sat on one side with Kirby and and others sat on the other side. It was quite. But everyone was smiling. As if the stress of working double was absent. It was bliss. And then they heard King Dedede burp and started pinning it on each other. 

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (｡ŏ_ŏ)woah! It’s been way too long since I’ve written anything! I’m hoping I can get a chapter out before Halloween and prepare a few for November and December, phew there are too many holidays.  
Not to mention I didn’t expect classes to be kicking my but so hard.┐(‘～`;)┌ I’ll manage tho! And I’ll trying fixing the formatting of my writing really soon.  
Thank you for your patience.(*´꒳`*)


	4. Not very sexy of us to be akward with each other. Haha we are bros....bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last month pit had to hand out candy for Halloween, it was painful for the angel to let go of so many sweet treats. So MegaMan promised to hang out with pit and get him a treat for surviving Halloween without candy.

Pit did a spin on the board walk with his arms mirroring his wings with flapping motions. Today the angel wore a ugly sweater that had 'not nutting this month' with a tan coat over it to hide the embarrassment. He had longer shorts because it was cold and long socks to cover his legs more. He wore hideous uggs. and instead of having his laurel crown equipped, the angel had replaced it with a hair clip of a togapee egg from Pokemon. Mostly for privacy reasons. 

"MegaMan! I love her, I think I actually love this Zelda!".

"mmh." The robot checked his watch then turned to the angel once more. "I think you'll for real love her when your done for real loving cloud, and other random blondes."

Similar to his friend, megaman wore a ugly sweater with the same joke on it but designed with nuts from machines. Honestly were did they get these.  
He, unlike pit, had pants on and had normal shoes.  
He also wore his signature beanie, probably because he still isn't confident with his hair.

"WAH, MEGAMAN! that's so mean" pit frowned but the robot laughed at his own joke.

"I'm sorry pit. I know you have a type," megaman's voice sounded a bit duller with that sentence. "And I will attack you until you date a non blonde, Mwahahaha!"

the angel sat on a bench and motioned his robobud to sit with him too. The blue bomber took the seat and softly smiled at pit.  
Megaman had to be one of pit's best friends. of course he had Simon and the occasional link, wow he does hand out with a lot of blondes, but megaman had been his friend through thick and thin. That means his ugly phase back in the NES days.  
The chubby angel couldn't talk to Simon about boys or cool weapons, for obvious reasons. And he would hang out with so many links it made him feel like he would talk to himself. Megaman would listen and talk, they would communicate so well they sometimes words wouldn't have to be said. Oh but when they did talk megaman would come out of his silent shell and talk non stop.

"what do you wanna eat, I'm hungry for anything and I don't want you to spend much so, blep." Commented the angel as he kicked his legs back and forth.

"uh. I'll decide later, let's talk more." Megaman shuffled a bit with nervous movements. "Do you know how old I am."

"your 11 but in some cases you could be considered to be in your 30's or 40's I don't remember well." The robot eyes widen.

"Alright pitty," megaman smirked. "When did we meet each other." 

pit sent a smirk back to megaman. "We met in the 1980's. animation for video games was getting popular so shows for Mario and link were being made. This included us."

"calm down pitty, I don't need a history lesson." Both boys laughed. " This one's easy, what's my name?"

pit nervous chuckled. "It's megaman?"

megaman shook his head. "To be fair I don't think I ever really did tell you. I've grown used of you calling me megaman like everyone else." The angel felt weird with this conversation, it was going somewhere neither of them expected it to go. "Back when In 1989 you were such a big fan of me I didn't have the time to tell you." Megaman giggled and tucked a few strands of hair back into his beanie. "You can call me Rock."

"hey rock...."

they stared into each other's eyes. The crisp wind and distant songs playing echoed in they're heads. Why weren't they talking, Akira literally told a story about a conversation just like this he had yesterday. He made it seem normal but why did it feel like pits heart is going to burst!

"Wah, I made it weird didn't I! I'm sorry." Rock didn't reply and turned his head away. Pit noticed his face was flushed. So he took off his own coat and tied it around Rock's neck like a cape. "There! If you get more cold you can wear it!" 

"thanks.

they got up and decided to go out and eat to take they're mind off of the conversation. "I heard there's a good seafood place nearby." Pit teeth smiled so that Rock would choose it over MC Galeem. "It's new so everything is cheap" Rock smiled to pit once more. they left and decided to eat sushi.

they were greeted by a friendly toadette and sat down at a table near the far end of the restaurant. "What can I get you two boys on this evening, or would you like to eat off the sushi slide." The mushroom girl directed their views to a mechanical conveyer belt with fish food and more laid across it. "Slide is just 10 dollars each!" The brunette gave his partner puppy eyes, he really wanted the food slide. "Will you guys like the food slide?" Megaman nodded and pit squealed in joy. The toadette giggled. "You two are so cute together." 

Once she left pit and Rock's expression went form joyful to blank. Hnn it was akward again. This time worst because it looks like they were dating. The toadette returned with two plates and silverware. The boys prayed to God that she wouldn't make anymore comments. But unfortunately God is sakurai and he likes Kirby more then pit.

"so how long have you two been together." It was obvious she was setting up they're dishes slowly! Crap! They had to talk now.  
The toadette looked at pit for an answer cause he was taller and caught more attention then the robot.  
"Don't be shy! Tell me!"

"uh ahaha, a while or somth..." When pit looked back at megaman for his response he was deadpan shocked that pit didn't tell her they weren't dating. Ah! He made it worst!

this time the mushroom girl faced megaman. " When did you know he was the one!"

rock akward laugh and avoided looking directly at pit. he pulled his beanie down a bit and coughed, "well uh-" he was blushing. It could've been cute it it weren't for the situation they were in.  
"He was um eating like always-" Hey! "And um I just knew haha."

the employee obviously not content with her answers And decided to pester them once more. "What romantic things do you plan to do for the holidays?" AAHG!

they quickly looked at each other to see who was going to answer. Rock was more nervous about answering so pit decided to be a big boi now and lie once more.

"er- were spending the holidays with our families, separately."

"all couples say that! What are you really going to-"

" KISS!!! I DONT KNOW!!!!THATS WHAT WE ALWAYS DO!!!" the angel pushed himself back into his chair. He panicked!

"....You two remind me of my ex husband and I" the toadette left laughing. Neither of the boys knew if it was good or bad.

Pit began scraping sushi off the food slide and putting it into his ugly sweater. " Let's dip megaman."

.

the two now sat by the seashore and ate the sushi that was covered in lint. Today was so akward for them if felt like they were both spirituality cringing. Thanks alot sakurai.

" hey r-Megaman, ah, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about today."

"It's ok pitty."

Pit furrowed his brow. "Ah I mean about the dating thing..." 10/10 speech pit. " I know how it feels to have someone assume your identity. I'm sorry I had to put your through that experience." Pit sighed a sigh of relief. He's been meaning to tell himself that more then megaman.  
That megaman wouldn't and couldn't be interested in pit, basically.  
" Sorry for making it seem like you like guys ahaha."

"pitty...."

" yeah rock?"

" you know I'm, er, gay, don't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honk honk, it's me your local sleep deprived clown.( ꈍᴗꈍ) I only spent 3 hours on this and so it's not my best work.  
But I hope it's just as enjoyable.


	5. *hands you some rotisserie chicken* is it Christmas yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving! A holiday about food and family! And what's pits two favorite things?
> 
> food and lady Palutena! So basically Thanksgiving!  
This year is especially going to be great because it's being spent with his new family, Bayo, Akira, and Kirby!  
+Extra family bonding!

Bayonetta and Palutena were out shopping for Thanksgiving. Although they were prepared weeks ahead both were unable to prevent pit from raiding the kitchen and eating everything before the holiday, so they had to stock up the food once more. It wasn't too much of a challenge, the cooking part was the hardest, Palutena doesn't know how to cook. So while they were gone deciding what easiest to cook and what should be take out for the day, the boys set up decorations. 

decorations are pointless when they are being set up at your own house (well, beach house). Unless anyone was planning on visiting, that wasn't kin, then there was no point. But the brothers set up the hand Turkeys and acted like Thanksgiving was about giving and stuff. Decorations where done quick, mostly just ribbons and drawings hung up and a few paper leaves. It was like a kindergarten classroom.

Akira glanced handsomely to Kirby, he wisppered to the side of his brothers head to spread some news. While pit was playing with tape the puffball hopped into his lap.  
"Poyo!" Which roughly translates to "hello pit, Akira wants you to know that since mom and mum aren't home he's holding his weekly dlc meeting here today!'

"What?" When the angel looked up from making tape nails he saw the phantom theif cleaning up the seats.

Akira sat down next to pit, brushed a few strands of hair out of his view. "You know how we have DLC meetings," Pit nodded. "Well I decided since parents always spend so long shopping that we hold it here instead of some public place. Y'know?"

The angel understood clearly but, "why are you telling me?"

this time Akira let out a hefty sigh. "I know how you get with old people...." The brunette was still confused. "Terry is going to be there and -"

"TERRY BOGARD?!?"

Akira groaned. It was obvious that he cared deeply for his brothers but hes been developing the Caine instinct recently so it started to get harder to tolerate them.  
"Pit, it's DLC only. I need you to know so you don't come running in and ruin-er be silly."

Pit glared at the phantom thief, it's not like he would try sitting on Terry's lap all day, although that sounds heavenly-  
"You know what! Fine" the angel pouted but it didn't last long.

"Great!" Akira left the scene.

it was cold out so where would pit go. Everyone is so busy for the holidays, he had no one to hang out with.  
And literally one of his ROLE MODELS was going to be in HIS living room any second now.  
Suddenly an idea popped in his empty head. What if he were to spy on them, and when the moment was right he would come through the door and propose to Terry! Wait that last part isn't right-.

it had been decided! Pit would watch till he could swing Terry off his feet and be his best friend, or something like that.

.

joker was dressed in his phantom theif outfit, next to him was the luminary, solo, and eight. Eridrik wasn't there cause he said 'i can ruin my rep and hang out with low lifes' and 'im getting me some coochie tonight!'. It was a bit upsetting for him to not hang out but smash does stuff to you. Solo didn't stay long either. Because banjo and Terry were taking so long he left. Eight also left. But it was because 'theres too much homoerotic tension in here' so he dipped. Although the energy was probably from dark pit's angsting.

Pit sighed from the window he was watching from his brother and the luminary compared to Terry or banjo made the room fill with dullness. Pit prayed that something interesting would happen so he wouldn't fall asleep while waiting for his Terry-boo.

The luminary was caught wearing his normal gear, even if it was Thanksgiving, but the DLC were required to be in uniform. But something was off about the vibe.

"...so, what do you think?" The luminary looked up, confused. "Ah, I mean like, what do you think about my crib?" 

The blue eyed boy nodded then continued to stare at the door.  
Even from outside the building, pit could tell that wasn't the answer his brother expected. Even the luminary caught on to it.  
"It's large... Bigger then my home I'm staying in."

His voice was youthful but heavy, both in a very soothing way, it made joker smile.

"Luminary-".

"Akira," joker eyes widen. "I know this is supposedly professional but, please, call me Eleven." This time said with a faint smile.  
The homoerotic tension was definitely not from dark pit's angsting.

they chatted for what seemed like ages, they talked about what they fight out of smash and favorite foods. They were both hitting it off very well. Joker even took off his mask so Eleven could tell he was listening.  
It would've been nice to pit, heartwarming even but, there was no sign of Terry or the other DLCs.

"Hey El, been like 15 to 30 minutes huh?" He responded with another nod. Joker pulled his glasses from his coat and put them on. He took a solid look at the luminary before continuing. "They might not come, how about we dip and I can-".  
Suddenly the door burst open and stood there was Banjo, Kazooie, and piranha plant.

The joker quickly replaced his glasses with his mask and greeted the new guest. Of course pit was excited to see those guest, but still no show of Terry. The angel hoped desperately that Terry would come. And by the looks of it, so did joker.  
It was weird to see his brother so desperate.

"sorry we're late," Kazooie began preening herself. "We got lost the went go kart racing and then got lost again."

"that's fine, your here now." Joker pulled his hair back from his face, it was a habit out of stress.

"hey joker, got any snacks." Before joker could lead the firey bird too the closet there was a ring at the doorbell. He rushed over and opened the door.  
Pit was absolutely delighted when he saw Terry, the only warmth he had was coming from the scarf.

Pit hurriedly stumbled from his hiding spot to interrupt the conversation and speak to Terry before he lost interest.

.

The brunette slightly pushed the door open not to alert everyone in his house. He took carful steps as he entered and began to stalk from the inside.

Pit peeked from the doorway expecting to hear marvelous plans and tactics, fighting strategies and cool stuff.  
But when he peered in closer to listen...

"Blythe is definitely getting in smash."

"well duh." Growled Terry. "I was hoping for another robot, we literally only have two."

"ah well for the past 3 DLC characters I was hoping to get a girl." Joker mumbled. "No offense Kazooie, plant. And plus there has to be a female alternate of Blythe, I think they should be in."

"I've been here for like 3 months and I can confirm there are two many blue hair fire emblem swordfighters. Game basically belongs to them-"

Pit may not have thought anything, but he didn't expect them to have conversation like this. He almost wanted to intervene to confirm unlikely fighters. But the boy listen, many good points were brought up and some lame ones too. It must've been hours because as soon as the clock stroked 5 pm everyone began to pack up.

banjo was the first to leave, and the first to sign puts fanbook. Kazooie also contributed to the nerd's book.

Piranha plant was second, unfortunately she can't write, so instead she spat on one of the black pages.

finally Terry had appeared! He was so much taller then pit imagined. The fighter was like a skyscraper. It was almost as if Terry wouldn't notice pit.  
And he walked by.  
And he didn't notice pit.

"WAH-" the angel quickly tugged on Terry's jacket and caught his attention. "Please me bogar, please sign my smash ultimate fighters book!"

"woah kid! I mean sure, but call me Terry, no need to be fancy."

PIT CAN CALL TERRY, well, TERRY. The angel felt enlighten, just one more DLC character and his book would be complete. And he can call Terry Terry. It was a good day.  
The angel headed back to the beach house when he innterupted his own steps.

"you doing anything tonight?" Joker finally replaced his mask for the final time. He pushed his curled hair out of his glasses and you could get a peak of his eyeliner job.

"yeah, it's called Thanksgiving dinner with my family." Akira slightly jumped with Eleven's response. Kinda obvious that the hero doesn't talk much so he sounded sarcastic or irritated. Eleven reassured Akira with an embarrassed smile.

"plans after?"

" sleep is an idea. Tell me Akira, do you even sleep." They both laughed with each other. They quickly discussed actual Thanksgiving plans as not to be late.  
"I better go home now. My mum is making her best cranberry sauce and I can't afford to miss it hot."

Akira looked slightly nervous for a second, he took a breath before speaking to the hero. "When can I see you again..."  
Eleven looked directly to him with a puzzled expression.  
"Outside of smash, when are you free." Joker scratched the back of his head. luminary nodded.

"I'm kinda busy for the holidays, but I heard the mansion is having a Christmas party, we can go together." Eleven tightened his bag. "I know it's smash related but I'd like to hang out with you soon."

Akira coughed to cover up his flushed face. "Yeah no that would be great, see ya later."  
The luminary dodged pit and left him to face his brother and his strange behavior.

Pit coughed. "What was that all about..."

His step brother gave a heavy sigh and closed the door behind pit. "I-" he messaged his temples before saying anything again.  
"I miss my friends pit, and the luminary reminds me of them alot."

oh. Pit could only imagine how Akira felt. The phantom theif was in an orphanage before he could ever meet his own mom. He grew up without any friends and moved out of several orphanages until he was 16 and moved out for good.  
Only then he met his best friends. After that he relyed heavily on them for support. Now they were spirits.

"I think he would be a good friend for you, Akira."

Pit's stepbrother smiled at him for understanding. "Come on dude, let's set up the table again because Kazooie ate off it."

.

Somehow Palutena managed to ruin the turkey so instead they decided to eat ham. No not like those giant hams with the bone still in, ham for sandwiches. They slapped the ham slices in the oven and prepared everything else. Kinda sad.

"did you guys do anything fun," Palutena removed the oven mittens from her hands.

"I hate the holidays" growled Dark pit. " Why are we even celebrating, were not even on a planet with Americ-". Palutena sushed her son.  
"You know what let's say a prayer for me." The goddess giggled.

The entire family gathered around the table, even Pichu and prayed.  
Kirby said he was thankful for his family and food.   
Akira was thankful for getting into smash and reuniting with his mom and new family.  
Dark pit mumbled about Palutena, something like taking him in and caring for him, or something.  
Palutena thanked herself for dating Bayonetta and completing a family fantasy she's had since her younger goddess days.  
Bayonetta thanked Kirby for hooking her up with Palutena and promise Akira she would never leave him again.

it was finally pits turn. Unfortunately Kirby took his thanks so he had to come up with something fast.  
"I'm thankful for...." Should he also thank Palutena? No! It wasn't creative enough.  
"For..."  
His thoughts were flying through his head so fast! It smelled like smoke!  
smoke?  
"Guys I think the ham caught fire-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Thanksgiving was WEEKs ago but I forgot to post this and then I found tons of mistakes rereading it.(๑•﹏•)also finals.  
Hopefully when I make a Christmas chapter I'll post it exactly on Christmas.  
Anyways I hope you enjoyed.( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ )


	6. chrimy〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hands decided to rent out a ballroom for a Christmas party, it was almost as if they were spending all the money for mansion repairs on the holidays haha.  
Anyways, the party was going to be huge. Celebrating smash and it's success. There was going to be a photoshoot, food, dancing and music, food, secret Mario(get it because Mario has a santa outfit-), and it was going to last till the sun rose!  
This was going to be the time of pit's life

The sound of chewing pulled pits concentration from his gift wrapping to dark pit, who was eating the tape. Watching his brother eat tape made him curious of how it tastes so he decided to try it out himself.  
Palutena rushed in and pulled the no longer sticky, and slobbered on tape, out of they're mouths.

" you two are insufferable." The goddess tossed the tape to the side and sat down next to the two.  
"So who'd you guys get for the secret Mario gift exchange?"

pit jumped up. "Palutena, it's a surprise we can't tell you-"

"I got joker," announced dark pit. Pit's expression fell and Palutena chuckled. " I tried getting him a buttplug since he uses his hornyness to hide the fact that he's upset mum abandoned him as a kid, but the "mature" store wouldn't let me in."

"pittoo that's disgusting! Good thing they didn't let you in." Palutena sighed at the thought of her stepson opening such a gift. I mean he'd be delighted but it was still gross since the gift opening would be in public.  
"What did you actually get him?"

dark pit groaned and pulled a a picture frame with Kirby, pit, himself, and Akira.  
"Cause we're his only family and blah blah."

Palutena cooed and pit appluased at the gift. Dark pit let out another edgey groan.

The goddess then revealed a beautiful golden skirt to the boys.  
"I got princess Daisy, she's very masculine for a woman but hates dresses so I just got her a simple skirt." The angels admired the skirt for a second. Pit complimented the deity and dark out just blinked.  
"Who'd you get pit?"

"ah."  
Pit looked to his pathetic gift and pulled it out for show.  
"I got megaman..." As soon as he said his friends name he felt his stomaches turn, he'd never been the same since the last time they hung out. It was so akward! Right after megaman had to come out to pit, in the worst way possible pit vomited from the linty seafood. It was the worst! The angel pulled out a cyan colored beanie with red squares designed in it and a few dog toys. "Rock-er I mean megaman, has a dog so I got him some new toys and umm, his beanie has gotten old and is kinda bland so um...yeah" Pits company stared blankly at the gifts then to pit.

"pit, these gifts suck ass." Palutena punch dark pit.

the brunette rolled back and let out a sob. "i know! I was trying really hard ok!"

dark pit chuckled. "it's even worse because he's like, your best friend!" Pit groaned again and shoved his worthless gifts into his box.

"no more making fun of pit's terrible ideas, we have to finish wrapping, Bayonetta will be here soon." Palutena stood up and folded the skirt in her arms. "She rented a van out for us. Please be considerent.

soon enough the angels finished wrapping and waited outside the beach house. A silver van rolled up with Akira driving and Bayonetta in shotgun with Kirby in her lap. Pit and Pittoo seated themselves in the back and Palutena sat in the middle seats with the gifts on the empty seat next to her.

"I think I got Robin on purpose." Akira said in the middle of the drive there, to break silence.

"well at least it's someone with a personality," Bayonetta sighed. "I got game and watch."

Kirby beamed,"Poyo!" Which meant he got Luigi.

The family continue d to talk about the gift exchange. But pit didn't say a word. His mind was still caught up on how Rock would react. He'd probably be like: pit this sucks, you must hate me because I'm gay and you vomited about it and everything.  
THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE IF MEGAMAN THOUGHT HE WAS HOMOPHOBIC. Then again he also knew pit was biBUT HE COULD STILL BE HOMOPHOBIC.  
Usually the angel's anxiety wasn't this bad but rock was his friend, his top priority, second to Palutena.

you guys know that one chrismas movie, with the grandma that makes fruitcakes and gets ranover by santa, is that only in America because my ex, Ann, won't shut up about it-" suddenly Akira shut up and the car came to a halt.

everyone peered through the window and saw a house building, almost Castle like. It was a pale pink color and had large chrismas banners hung up. There were chrismas lights on every tree in view and on the building too. Hey that kinda rhymed. They could see fighters and a small amount of spirits lined up for entry.  
"I bet this is were all out money is going to." Commented Akira.

* * *

after exiting the van , and entering the building. Pit watched his family depart from him to get over with the gift exchange.

he searched for Megaman himself, hoping that he wouldn't completely hate him after the last time they hung out. "Piiiittty! Up here. He looked up and saw megaman hanging from the balcony with a gift in his hands. The angel hurried his way up and met with the robot.

Although he was very anxious to see him, pit felt so happy to reunite with rock.

"Rock! I got you for secret mario!" Announced pit.

"No way!" Chuckled rock, he pushed his gift forward. "I got you!"

Pit felt his ears heat up, man his anxiety was being really strange. As he tried to make a comment on the gifts his thoughts began to scramble and mix up."SORRY FOR ASSUMING YOU WERE STRAIGHT LAST TIME HE HUNG!" Blurted out pit. He was loud enough to catch the attention of some of the fighters, but they didn't stare long.

"It's ok pitty." Megaman reached to the angels face and stroke his hair tuffs. megaman always did that in distress, play with pits hair. It would comfort him somehow. As for pit it made him go wild, in a good way. It was like itching a bird, both parties enjoyed it.

They faced each other when megaman let go. The robot then lightly shoved the gift to pit.

"Sorry if you don't like it, I can get something better." As megaman mumbled the sentence pit went on one knee and unwrapped the gift on his open knee. There was a note on the box that said "thank you for being me best friend :)" he pealed open the box and revealed a silver harp, it was very small and very shiny. Pit strummed a few of the cords, letting a heavenly sound fly.

The angel looked up. "Oh rock, i love it" being unable to get up he grasped the robots legs as an effort for a hug. They both laughed, wow this makes my present look like complete crap." Pit scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

The Shorter boy laughed. " It can't be worst then mine, plus I love anything you do." There was an akward silence as megaman unwrapped his gift. He pulled out the beanie first. His face lit up. "WOW! This is so much cleaner and brighter then my old beanie!" He dropped the box and pulled of his helmet.

It was less then a minute, but pit admired Rock's hair. It was a deep black and looked as if it was glowing in the golden chandelier light. It was messy because he had helmet head but looked so very adorable. His hair was short and spiky and trailed to the back of his head.

Pit let out a yearning sigh-ah no just a normal sigh, nothing to yearn about, just a friend.

"How do I look." 

pit struck dumb and was at loss of words. "Ah-cool."

Cue akward silence.

Rockedp into the box again. "There's more?" He pulled out the dog toys and looked at them. "What's this?"

"Ah, you know umm toys for rush..."

megaman smiled." I don't think I ever gave rush toys" pit watched anxiously as Rock's smile grew wider the more he looked at the toys. "Rush would definitely love these." They both giggled

"Come on pit lets go dance." Pit looked to the balcony again and notice the dancefloor could use a two more people, he nodded very agressivly. So megaman took him by the hand and ran to the dancefloor.

Sincerely it wasn't dancing more like hopping up and down and shaking your arms. It was great till the slow songs came on. The two tried to escape but we're closed in by several couples who could actually dance. Pit became very anxious, he would love to dance with rock but what if everyone made fun of them, they didn't know how to dance. He turned to megaman to see if he had any answers.

The robot shrugged and took pit by the hands. He got very close to the angel, almost as if his nose was pressed against the brunette's chest."don't worry pit, just follow my lead."

I'm not even going to type it but they sucked, halfway through they bursted out laughing because they knew they had no idea what they were doing. The two were kicked of the dance floor but enjoyed themselves more then anyone in the room. 

It was finally the end of the night and two had departed. Pit reunited with his family and had a nice quiet car ride home...for the most part. "Have you guys ever kissed someone on accident, like they do something and your like yup this is my partner I've been in a relationship for a week now so you kiss their neck and-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days late  
I made this one day late  
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ  
I really do hope it's relevant when I post it ugh.  
Anyways I'm kinda a fools because I decide to switch from HTML to rich text formating so I'm pretty sure some of the words/sentences are clipped. IDK I'll fix it eventually

**Author's Note:**

> Oop this is actually my first fanfic so bare with me. I’ve actually progressively gotten borderline illiterate so if the grammar/ spelling is bad that’s completely my fault and my slow ass phone.  
I hope you end up liking this sorta slice of pit’s life thing hrrng.-_-||


End file.
